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Episode #6 Transcript
Pax Soprana
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
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Images are not thumbnails,
so fuhgeddaboutit!
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so, you know, the usual girl stuff. She picks up the dry cleaning, she does the food shopping. Oh, by the way, your dr. Melfi has excellent taste. She only shops at the fancy shmancy deli. You know, the kind with the Italian name, but you can't find a fuckin' meatball in the whole joint? What else? I don't even know what I'm supposed to be lookin' for. What's up with this cooze? It's none of your fuckin' business. You're on a strict need-to-know, lieutenant. And I ought to knock the shit outta you for what you did to her date last month. What? I figured this girl was a goomar of yours. So I scare him a little, what's the big deal? Does this guy still come around? Nah, he's not her type. I told you, he's a coward. He nearly pissed himself. Alright, anything else? I don't want to be here all day. Yesterday, yesterday she got off at nine, and she went to bed early. That's it? That's it. Here, buy yourself an iron. |
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Ready? Decaf, right? So, how was your college trip with your daughter? I'll tell you, my life, it's like, an episode of "provone-something." What's going on? My wife, all we do is fight. Can you believe it? She's jealous of you. Is that something that you feel or has there been some discussion with carmela? She didn't know you were a girl. You know, a woman, excuse me, a doctor, a woman doctor. Why did it take you so long to tell her? I didn't tell her, you spilled the beans when you called to change my appointment. Let me ask you a different question. Why a female? Why a female doctor? You know, she asked the same friggin' question. And I sometimes wonder myself. And? I'll tell you what I told her. Cusamano gave me a choice between two Jewish guys and a paisan like me. So I picked the paisan. What's the one thing every woman, your mother, your wife, your daughter, have in common? They all break my balls. No, I know what you mean. They're all Italian, so what? So, maybe by coming clean with me you're dialoguing with them. Let me ask you a question. Why do you have me as a patient? Most legit people I know, they'd go 100 miles out of their way not to make eye contact with me. But you, you didn't flinch. |
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Come on in. Sammy, how are you? Just in time, I was just gonna make some coffee. How's junior? Sit the fuck down, now! That's how junior is, Sammy. I'm with little jimmy altieri. Yeah, you payin' jimmy for this game? Huh, Sammy? No. Are you payin' someone for this game? Huh? Then the party's over. Junior soprano is the new boss and he ain't respecting old arrangements. |
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You're lucky, you stayed slim. You could buy right off the rack. I wanted something special. The boys are having a little time for me. You're wearing a suit to the dinner? These guys today, they want to be buried in a jogging outfit. (Junior) so, how's... What's your oldest boy's name? Raphael, ralphie. Yeah, good kid. He lost his son, you know. Whaddya mean, lost? Dead, morte. Uh, just a fuckin' kid, a baby. Whoa, whoa. What are we talkin' about here? You lost your grandson? What are you gonna do with these fucking animals? These drug dealers. That little kid that used to run around here breakin' balls. Domenic, my namesake. Did you know about this? See, what'd I say about this fuckin' poison? These kids shouldn't touch it. I read the paper every day about these poor pricks overdosing. He didn't overdose, he killed himself. 14-years-old. Jesus. What this at patterson falls? Holy shit, that was your grandson? What? The kid took one of those designer drugs, right? Goes to the falls, takes a header off the fence. They said the current whirled so much that his head was bashed on the rocks for days before it even came up. Meanwhile, this piece of shit, he gets to walk the streets and sell more of this stuff to young kids. Oh really? What's this motherless fuck's name? |
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Even the coffee's old in here. How much complaining can you do? Eventually they find you with a broken hip. I wanna make a gift for a maganet. That's the only way you'll get good coffee. A maganet. What are you wearin'? You smell like a French putan'. It's canoe. Johnny wore canoe. Mornin' livia. Oh mornin'. Mornin'. Hi. New arrival? Go 'head, keep movin' fella. I'm happy for you, junior. I know how long you waited to be made boss. Just don't let certain people take advantage of your good nature, like they did to johnny. What "certain people"? Nobody got over on johnny. And nobody's gonna get over on me. How's your jewish friend? Hesh, what about him? Who ever heard of a jew riding horses? He owns a horse farm. Heh! He's tony's friend, not mine. What do you got against him anyway? Me? Nothing. Johnny liked him. And my son thinks every word that comes out of his mouth is pure gold. Are you telling me that since I'm the new boss I should tax hesh? Boy, anthony must've really got under your collar. Admit it. You're looking to crack his coglioni for putting you in here. I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, and I'm playing shortstop for the mets. |
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Alright, watch the balls. What is the matter? Tony's cannoli doesn't want to stand up? Tony's cannoli is tired. I can make it happen, baby. I know, just maybe... So how's your job? What? Since when do you care about my job? Can't I be nice? Alright, forget it. Okay, you don't wanna talk about your job? Fine, here. Call somebody who gives a fuck. I'm not a fucking whore. Stick your money up your ass. I don't know what's wrong with you, but don't take it out on me. Hey, there's nothing wrong with me! I just wanted to talk, that's all. All the conversation I get around here, I might as well be a fucking dildo. If you were a dildo, we wouldn't be fighting. What does that mean, huh, you fuckin' refugee? What does that mean? Come here! I'll knock you out, you fuckin' communist cunt. Hey, hey! (Yelling) yeah, same to you. You fuckin' burned me. |
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Clabby? Hearts. Jump in, the water's warm. Child's play, pound a point. Hesh is outside. Tell him to come in. He says he needs a word with you. What the fuck? I've eaten more queens than lancelot! |
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What's up? Let's walk. That serious? Have you spoken to your uncle lately? Junior? Yeah. No, I don't know. Why? What's up? Your father was a fair man, tony. What's that got to do with junior? Junior's not so fair. Hesh, sometimes I wish you'd just get to the fuckin' point. What'd he do? He's taxing me, tony. He's taxing you? When did this happen? Today. Did you tell him that you've operated for years without any tax? That my father loved you and respected you? That ten cents out of every dollar that goes into his kick is directly related to your shylock business? My uncle's been boss of the family ten fuckin' minutes and already I got agita. What'd you tell him? I told him the truth. It's a reasonable request, but an unreasonable figure. Back up a minute. What do you mean it's a reasonable request? He's the boss now. He can call the tune, we all dance to it. That's the way it's always been done. Now you can either respect what's been done in the past or change the rules. Look, tony, the reason I came over here was to tell you, with this bullshit going on, I don't know if can stay in this area. Oh yeah, where you gonna go? C'mon, tatellah. I can sit on my royalty checks. You forget I wrote six gold records. No, a couple black kids wrote six gold records. You owned the company, you gave yourself a co-writing credit. Come on. Besides I know you, you leave this action you're gonna kill yourself. How much does he want? 500 large, plus two points monthly on my shy. Alright. Do me a favor, sit tight for now. Let me think about it for a while. |
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(Music plays) what time is it... it's seven o'clock... just one hour more... what time is it... it's eight o'clock... now i'm at her door... what time is it... it's time for love.
how was that, baby? The best... You are the best. Come here. Tony, I love your cannoli. You okay? Yeah, I'm okay, go back to sleep. You sure you're alright? |
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So, what do you want new york to do? First of all, junior can't know we talked. He's gotta think hesh came to you on his own. By himself. So you are still running things. Another thing, the arrangement, whatever it is, it can't be insulting to my uncle. Hesh has got to pay something. I just haven't decided what. I gotta get back, we'll talk later. How's the veal? It's like rubber. Yeah? Tastes alright to me. You want something else? (Singing in italian) happy anniversary to you. Don't look at me. Compliments of johnny sack. Maybe you'd like to spend the rest of our anniversary with him. I was over there for 10 friggin' minutes, carmela. Don't do this. Alright, tony. At least I know where I stand. Why do you always gotta be so dramatic? Here we go. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. You don't even know what you're apologizing for. It's our anniversary, tony. Ours. Not yours, mine and johnny fucking sack's, ours. I was thinking we could get a room at the plaza like last year, I don't know. I'm sorry, carmela. I just got a lot on my mind. And I'm not thinkin' straight. Hey... I'm sorry. Should I call the plaza? C'mon. Nah, let's go home. |
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Hey, c'mere. Carmela, what do you want me to say? Tell me, i'm lost at sea here. You've changed, tony, and I resent it. I resent it because it's destroying what little self-esteem I have left. I swear sometimes I think you skeeve me. I skeeve you? What are you talking about? You're the mother of my children. How the fuck can I skeeve you? You see what i'm talkin' about, right there. "You're the mother of my children." I feel like i'm just someone you've chosen to procreate with. You knew this might happen with the prozac. Ginny torrelli's been on it for years and she'd hump a fire hydrant if it could make a pass at her. Dr. Melfi told me it affects different people different ways. Oh, she told you that? |
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I think before we start today's session, we need to address the coffee situation. It's not appropriate of me to take gifts. It's a cup of coffee. Let's just make a rule, okay? No gifts. Does this mean, I can't drink mine? (Telephone) I'm sorry. I usually have the answering service on when I have a patient, but I have a car emergency. Yes? What does that mean, diagnostic? I just want to know what's wrong with my car. No, no, don't do anything. No, I want to get a second opinion. I'll take my chances. Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. It's alright. So how's it going? Good, real good. As a matter of fact, I think I may flush the medication, you know. See if the changes i'm feeling are for real. Why would you want to do that? The prozac seems to be working. That might be the problem. It might be working a little overtime. What do you mean? I'm having a... A reaction? You know, a side effect. From the stuff. We talked about that when you started. Some people get insomnia, others stomachache, or headaches. But it usually passes. Are there any other side effects that you know of? Some people experience a diminished libido. They have a hard time getting or maintaining a... Bingo. I see. You know, not all impotence is a result of medication. You sayin' there's something wrong with me? When's the last time you had a prostate exam? Hey, I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed don't apologize. Oh, boy. You got a nice laugh. Alright, let's be serious. Hey, i'm serious. You know that depression is also a leading factor in impotence. When you awaken in the morning or in the middle of the night, do you ever have an erection? You could set your clock to it. So, we know it's not a physical problem. |
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Let's put that in after the credenza. Yes, ma'am. You wanna tell me what's going on? Yeah, I bought some furniture. Why don't we just move into roche bobois, save the delivery charge. Fine, I'll send it back. No, but you've been spending like a drunken sailor all last week. I said i'll send it back. Mother of christ, carmela, I didn't say that, did i? Jesus. |
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With all due respect to new york, I don't think you should be telling my uncle how to run things. You think I have the balls to drive in from new york and tell your uncle how he should run his family? I shouldn't expect to see the statue of liberty again if I did that. Alright, look, tony, hesh isn't only a friend of you guys, he's a friend of ours. Somebody has to step in so he doesn't get fucked. I never said fucked. And you, frankly, I'm a little hurt. You should've come to me first. Airing your dirty laundry in public. Junior knew how I felt. How would it look if I went to you after I spoke to him? Now he's got a point. Bottom line is, what are we gonna do about this? Something tells me you have a suggestion. Junior, if there's any flies on you, they're payin' fuckin' rent. 500 is a little steep for back taxes, no? As far as two percent of his action, that's up to you to settle. 'Cause after all, that affects tony as much as hesh. I'm not out to hurt anyone. God forbid I get in the way of someone earnin'. Let's say one and a half on his shy business and 300 on the back tax. 250. What'd I tell ya? Hold on to your cock when you negotiate with these desert people. 250. |
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