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Episode #24 Transcript
House Arrest
Captioned by HBO Communications Center,
©1999 Home Box Office,
a division of Time Warner Entertainment Company, L.P.
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so fuhgeddaboutit!
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So, how's that english class going? Comparative literature, whatever. Comp lit was last semester. I told you i'm taking lacan, deconstructive theory. Ooh, deconstructivist, excuse me. (Coughing) incredible, they could care less. This is delicious. And your grandfather a contractor. Deconstructivism. Ah. My droll mom. Excuse me, could you move your cigarette? Pardon me? It's blowing into my son's face. Thank you. We're allowed to smoke. Unfortunately an area where new jersey is woefully behind, but could you move it? Mom, it's no big deal. It's no big deal to move it either. I don't think so. I'm sorry? I'm not gonna move it. Why not? Because you're very rude. I said excuse me, quite clearly. Your tone. It's a health hazard, move it. No. I'm a physician, do you know what you're doing to the rest of us? My son has taken the trouble in his own life, to live in a smoke-free dorm. My salutations. Mom. This isn't a smoke-free restaurant. Look, this is silly, could you just move the fucking thing? Not when you talk like that. Just move the cigarette, please? No. No? No. Mom! Well? You bitch. She must be drunk. Excuse me, what did you say? Ma'am, c'mon. I saw what happened let's just, shall we? Will you call the police? I don't think that's warranted, but ma'am-- oh no, please, call the police, because I'm not the one with a lethal weapon here. Ma'am, i'd like you to leave. C'mon jason. I'm outta here. |
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(Sobbing) (richie) hello. In here. (Janice) uncle jun'? In here, the kitchen! Where you been? I've been calling you all afternoon. My fucking hand is stuck down the drain. And I can't reach the fucking phone. Good thing i'm nice, 'cause I can start tickling you. Jesus christ. How long you been standing there? Six hours! Now get the fucking detergent and lubricate my wrist. Motherfuckin' sonofabitch. I thought you were bobby. Why didn't you just call a plumber? With what, my fucking toes?! Relax. Relax. Let it go limp. Limp, you're flexing! Let it go limp. Limp. That's it, you're flexing. Limp, that's it simmer down. Simmer down. Easy. Oh, jesus fucking christ. Oh, this fucking house. I'm dying here. Just take it easy, okay? You're coming to the engagement party at least, right? We'll special permission. I'll make some coffee. I don't give a shit if you do or you don't. It's light. You got your nephew to thank for that. What do you mean? I ran into him the other day at the garbage man's ball, whatever the fuck it is. He said we can't sell coke on the route anymore. What? That's what he said. I guess nobody should eat, but him. You should have seen him in the golf outfit, he looked like wallace beery. Where does he get the effrontery? He's the boss. Whether he has grand mals or not. And this shit is okay with you? I know how much you love him, jr. I don't want to say anything disparaging. |
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(Dick) you know how it is, they're bureaucrats, they nit, they pick. It's passive-aggressive, pure and simple. They have their lives, themselves. I know, I know, they're not out in the field. What can I do? It's mandatory. Okay, hold on. Connie, get me the paperwork on the separation requirements for new jersey. (Connie) where is it? I don't know, I put them with the recycling files. Can I get you something? Coffee? No. No, I'm alright. I'll be going home soon. |
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I embarrassed my son. How's he supposed to know, where this type of behavior is coming from? Think it's time you considered a 12-step program? I'm not an alcoholic, elliot. Besides I have you, this. Therapy isn't a substitute, you know that. I won't drink with my son anymore. We're bargaining now? I'll go to a meeting. I'm also prescribing luvox. Luvox? Is for ocd. Among other things, I've had success with it treating other compulsions as well. Compulsions? Elliot, c'mon. You're patient, jennifer, your inability to bring the therapy to a conclusion. Elliot, I honestly believe that he's not ready. Refer him to another doctor. You really think that i'm-- obsessed? Luvox. Jesus christ. |
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That coke provides a nice income stream. Do you have any ideas the bills I got? Just keep it away from the garbage routes. The lawyers, the doctors, the prescriptions, a double sawbuck for a plastic pillow, just so I can sit comfortably. Why don't you just sit on that nice pile of cash you got? My finances are nobody's goddamn business. And that garbage is my business. I don't want you and that other shit-bird fucking it up. Your business. Yeah, why don't you get that true that bald dome of yours? Why does everything have to be so difficult? You know, back in the '50s we worked together. Even rival families settled their differences, amicably. Oh yeah, I remember that picture of albert anastasia lying there all amicable on the barbershop floor. There were exceptions, I'm just saying. Oh i'm sorry, should I come back? It's alright. We're done here. Bad night last night, huh? Let's see if we can't get you a more comfortable fit on this mask. That little cupcake, she never came back. The one with the mask. Tracey? Sent her a bottle of shalimar. She never mentioned it. You should be happy at least, the stent was a complete success. Let's not tempt fate by taxing the heart. |
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How many migs you shoot down last week? Where's that fucking manicott'? It's gone. Half a fucking tray in there! I was hungry. Sonofabitch. It's not my fault you got your hand caught. Why do you have to be so nasty? (Recording) directory assistant, what listing? Belleville, I need a number for a catherine romano. Thank you, for what city? Cocksucker, belleville! Please hold for an operator. |
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Any allergies, shellfish, perhaps? No, I eat shrimp all the time. MSG? Any change in medication? No. A new laundry detergent, something like that? I don't know, I don't think so. Have you been under any undue stress lately? Is that the only word you people know? Sometimes pressure can result in contact dermatitis. Oh is that what that is? See know I knew that was bad. It means rash. Look at it, it's bleeding, for chrissake. You've been scratching it. You said you work at a sanitation transfer station. Dollars to donuts, you're being exposed to an irritant in the air. I sit in an office. I'll write you a scrip for cortisone cream. Dr. Cusamano says you've been seeing a psychotherapist. So? I suggest you talk about stress management with him. |
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(Moaning) to tell the truth, I was surprised to hear from you. I was sorry we missed our visit. I had the feeling you weren't interested. No. No. I stopped by the other day but I guess you were out. It was odd. I thought I heard you hollering. Funny how life works. The different paths. Yeah. All leading to the cemetery. Can I ask you something, corrado? Was my lou ever... You know, on the take? No, of course not. Why would you ask such a thing? Sometimes you know, I'd find money. Hundreds of dollars, cash, in his pockets at night. Probably won it at the racetrack. You think so? Sure, why not? Somebody has to win. |
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Well the kitchen needs some work but, you know, a little marble, maybe some new fixtures. It's nice. You think he'll come down on the price? I don't know. Tony, it's your sister, would it kill you to take a little interest? I'm here, ain't I? Sorry we're late. The paper says fox hill lane, she takes me to stag trail road. Not bad, huh, carm? Oh, wow. If we have kids, ma's house is just not big enough. And like tony says, it's not our house anyway. Come here, you gotta see this bedroom. You can make a den out of the closet. Talked to my uncle the other day, rich. Yeah, I heard. So we're clear on this drug shit, right richie? Now the reason i'm asking you, 850 grand's a pretty big nut. I don't know if your parole job at the fish market's gonna cover it. Tell me about it. These walls, skim-coat. Not that plain sheetrock shit. They put in a lawn this year, it's new. When did you put your lawn in? Richie. This is a great school district. Are you alright? I got to go. What's the matter? Nothing, just-- I feel hot. Oh m y god, your all clammy, let's get you home. No, no, you stay with them and help them. I'll see you later. (Breathing heavily) (knocking) oh, you poor bastard. |
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(Knocking) hey tony, you got a minute? Yeah, sure, what's up? What are you doing? Organizing a basketball pool, for the people in the office. Yeah sounds great, should be fun. Yeah. I got a call from a friend of mine in nutley. Guy's a cop. They got richie's driver on video. He sold three ounces of coke at an arcade down there. It's alright, I talked to richie. This was last night. Guess we'll have to torch a truck or something. Oh, but you don't want to hear that. I sure as shit didn't say it. Dick, I'm trying to work on this office pool. Sure, I'll leave you alone. |
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(Phone) hello. (Livia) corrado? What the fuck are you doing calling my home? Now listen, I'm the only person in this family who doesn't curse, so just do me the favor. I want to see how your feeling. Is that so horrible? I'm fine. It's not easy being abandoned, is it? Look to yourself. I had a stroke, corrado, did you hear? Of course I heard, I don't live in oshkosh. I heard you're keeping company with that catherine romano. What the fuck? Never you mind about that. Aw, she's so sweet. I remember my johnny told me, she let him feel her up behind "the sons of italy" hall. Listen livia, what you don't know could fill a book. (Dial tone) is everything alright? My brother's wife. Oh livia, how is she? I heard she wasn't well. She never was well. Let's face it. That woman's life is very sad. If she fell into a sewer pipe, she'd come up holding a gold watch in each hand. This was my father's. Actually it was his uncle's. It's a little sweet, but there's nothing like homemade wine. The vinegar eggplant. From four years ago. Take some home. I can't handle the acidity. If you like, I can make us some lunch. Why go to the bother, there's a friendly's on Bloomfield avenue. I can't. Don't you enjoy going out corrado? It's not that I don't enjoy it. Well, what is it then, your heart? No, it's certain legal difficulties. The truth is I can't go out. I'm under house arrest. Oh my god, does it hurt? It beeps. Sends a signal if I leave the house. You can't go anywhere? The choices we make, huh? Occasionally I can get special permission. Banking, the doctors, certain family obligations. For most part though... I understand if you don't want to stay. I enjoy you, corrado, I always did. You stay, I'll bring food in. |
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Trying to keep a low profile, what's the fucking point? I'm still a miserable prick and I'm still passing out. Thing on the history channel the other night, on the american revolution. You know we're the only country in the world where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing? You believe that, hmm? Bunch of fucking spoiled brats. Where's my happiness then? It's the pursuit that's guaranteed. Always a fucking loophole, right? Well, you seem very mellow today. Let's talk about you. You seem like you're on drugs and I'm boring myself to death. I'm ready for the george sanders long walk here. Do you know why a shark keeps moving? They got to keep moving or they'll die, they can't breathe or something. There's a psychological condition known as alexithymia, common in certain personalities. The individual craves almost ceaseless action, which enables them to avoid acknowledging the abhorrent things they do. Abhorrent? What certain personalities? Antisocial personalities. My future brother-in-law... Ran over a guy, no reason. Guy's paralyzed, has to piss into a cathode tube. What happens when these antisocial personalities aren't distracted from the horrible shit they do? They have time to think about their behavior. How what they do affects other people. About feelings of emptiness and self-loathing, haunting them since childhood. And they crash. Which one of them knew? Knew what? Jerry grill had asthma...
(Snoring) he never was one to let common sense get in the way of whatever he wanted to do. (Loud snoring) what about chris newman? Grale's house was the last thing standing in the way of that new deli. I'm sure chris is glad to see him gone too. What about howard? Corrado. Hmm. I got caught in the middle of the fight... And you have no broken bones? Actually they ignored me. Fucking thing. Shh, with that talk. ... That he'd been cheatin' on her where'd you hear that? Her father told her while I was standing there. Every one of them had a motive. The thing is who had the opportunity and who was it who knew he had asthma? I threw. C'mon. |
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Ho, our long lost leader. Somebody most owe him money. Tony, how you doing? How's the clay pigeon? I'm getting there. You could knock cardozo law school all you want, but his lawyer says the gun charge will not stick. Yeah, congratulations. (Christopher) we were talking about you know, down the docks. Driving off some off that japanese technology. Hesh knows a guy. Oh yeah? So what else is going on? Nothing. I'm having good luck with swiss basics' moisturizing formula. Maybe I'll try it. Oh! Yeah!
(Crashing sound) what the fuck? Holy shit. Look at that. (Tony) it's that dipshit carmine again. Sil, go tell him no speeding in neighborhood. I'm on it. C'mon. What an asshole. (Pussy) carmine, what the fuck's the matter with you? How many times we gotta tell you, do not speed in this fucking neighborhood! (Furio yelling in italian) (sil) c'mon, you hurt? That's too bad, you should be fucking crippled, you fucking asshole! Don't do that again you understand me?! Understand me? People could be fucking hurt, you know that? You know that? You alright? You sure? Tony. Oh, agent harris. How are you? Good, good to see you. I was in the neighborhood, I wanted to introduce you to my new partner. Joe marquez, tony soprano. What's the matter, nongs in the post office? How 'bout those nets, huh? What a series. It's that guy, williams. Yeah, he's good. That fourth quarter was amazing. How'd the knicks do? It was close, really close. Look at this asshole. Friend of yours? He drives too fast, and he's always fucking hitting shit.
It doesn't pay to try, all the smart boys know why, it doesn't mean I didn't try, i just never know why, all alone ooh baby, you're not at home, and when I'm home, big deal, I'm still alone, you can't put your arm around a memory, you can't put your arm around a memory, you can't put your arm around a memory, don't try... |
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